Have you ever had one of those days where you just don’t feel like you have it together? You grab your blue pants instead of your black ones. You leave the lunch you packed yourself the night before in the refrigerator. You lock your keys in the car. Any of that resonate with you? I have felt this way for the last couple months. I don’t feel I have anything together since having our son. With his arrival I have realized just how perfectly imperfect I am!
I failed to take in to consideration the recovery time I would need once I had him. I was so busy thinking about everything he would need, how our new family would fit together and what our schedule would look like. I have learned he is the Boss around here and we don’t have any semblance of a schedule yet. I quickly felt like such a disaster as a new mom because of the time I needed to rest and recover and just couldn’t tackle it all.
Fast-forward several weeks and I am getting around much better, but now the up all hours of the night have started for me with our little guy. Before I get much further please let me stress he is a great baby, getting up the normal 2-3 hours for feedings and already eating us out of house and home. We have prayed for these moments for years and I wouldn’t change it for anything. However, the sleep deprivation with a new, little one is real y’all! When he gets up every couple hours to eat, we change him, feed him, burp and get him back down that takes about an hour. You may get an hour of sleep in, two if he is extra sleepy, before it is time to repeat the process. Factor in needing to rewash and sterilize bottles and there is not much sleep being had by the adults in this house.
I’ve had several melt-downs due to hormones and lack o’sleep, more so due to the latter, over not being able to get him dressed in something to not feeling like the “super woman” that I envisioned. I thought I would be taking care of the kiddo, doing dishes and laundry, making dinner and all the things I did before he was born no problem once he arrived. Not to mention trying to still be an invested wife, daughter, sister and friend. Nothing has made me realize more how truly human, and perfectly imperfect I am, than having a kid.
Without the help of my husband, mom, mother-in-law, other family and friends, there is no way I would have made it through these first couple of months of navigating motherhood. Each day I am learning more and more that I can only do my best for my family, and sometimes my best isn’t that great. I am trying to work out our new life that is Perfectly Imperfect and oh so beautiful!